[Saturday June 10 2006 @ 11:17pm] Thursday. She's going to say something about this. I know. and I wonder what else she'll tell me. I wonder if this is a good idea. Do I want to know EVERYTHING? R E A D 01 P O S T

[Monday June 05 2006 @ 6:42pm] Same old thing. not much to say. It's summer now. yaya!!! more info later :) P O S T

[Saturday April 29 2006 @ 1:44am] Instant Karma's gonna get you. knock you right into place. heh P O S T

[Wednesday April 19 2006 @ 11:03am] Spring Break has been pretty cool. But its so not over yet. Can't wait for the rest. I've learned alot these couple of days. heh. I'm freakin happy. P O S T

[Saturday April 15 2006 @ 8:34am] first saturday of spring break. its been good so far. can't wait for the rest of the week. off to do mah hair right now... then who knows. ILOVEmYfRIENDS P O S T

[Tuesday April 11 2006 @ 3:01pm] I dont ever wanna feel like I did that day. Take me to the place I love, take me all the way . :for the good of the order: ohhh geeze. funnest night of my life. P O S T

[Monday April 10 2006 @ 7:44pm] I have a smile on my face. :) see. yeah~ P O S T

[Saturday April 08 2006 @ 2:10pm] I wanted to write it all down really bad. but when it came down to it. I don't have the guts. It's ok. Each day is more beautiful, every smile more aware that all things bad are passing and brightness is so near. I sang a song to remind me, Of the way I love to laugh. And thought I might regret it, if I never laughed again. If my smile touched just one person. only one this year, than I've done it all. And if I can be like you, in anyway, shape, or form, than I've loved more than most. I'll take those tears of sadness and hide them for some years. Take them out when I am lonely and share them with a friend. I'm trying to smile, even when it's not worth it. R E A D 02 P O S T

dreams. [Tuesday March 21 2006 @ 5:29pm] ok so I hate having dreams that make you think about things you dont want to think about. and that is exactly the kind of dream that i had las night. i woke up at 3. and thought about you. as much as i want to think about you, not now. i cant take it. give me a few more days or something. its all still too real. too close to everything. i need more time to think, think of things i would have done differently, or wouldnt have. whats so wrong with all the things i said. not confused. mad mad at whats happened. getting over it. accepting it. cause i have to. its the only logical thing to do. god dammnit. I miss you Cam. P O S T

[Wednesday March 15 2006 @ 5:33pm] I have a history of over exagerating. and I'm trying to get over it. I'm a new person. a better one. One that disserves good things and good people to share good things with. It's weird whenever one element of your life stays behind while the rest of you is changing so drastically. indifferent on the change, I just don't get it. Somethings we never let go of, I suppose. But somethings we do. I'm letting go. I already have. I've let go of being her. being who I don't want to be. I'm worth more whenever it comes down to it. weird to think about. the thing that circles your mind over and over and now you can admit to it. strange how things work out. and I'm happy and loving things and plenty of people. plenty. There are so many things worth writing about that I don't know where to go next. I'll keep the rest a secret, just cause its soo much fun-er that way. there are few people who really know me anymore. i love the ones that do though. P O S T

Pfft. [Sunday March 12 2006 @ 10:47am] I am thankful for the friends I have. there are some who totally mean the world to me right now. let's hear it for all my best buds!!woot! I love them. P O S T

[Saturday March 11 2006 @ 1:18am] sometimes its too much. sometimes its not funny and you arent "cool", its just annoying. R E A D 01 P O S T

[Saturday February 25 2006 @ 11:36pm] We are both on two totally different pages. I say one thing and he answers with something that doesnt match. And inside my head I fight back with things to say, knowing exactly the face he would make if I said them. And then I just stop thinking and only listened. I suppose that it is the most decent thing I could have done for him. I realized there were no words and no hugs and no soothing syllables that would make this any better. And no reason I would propose would be worth the argument. I looked past tears and broken hearts and emptiness and tried to remember my friend. Although he made me mad, making me feel like I had never hurt...it was easy for me to look past that. And ultimately let go of how I felt. Cause it wasn't about me, it never was. I wanted to tell him that things would get easier. From experiancing so much loss in my own life, I knew that in the future...there would be some brightness. And some things get easier and somethings don't. And sometimes you can go a whole day without thinking about how bad it feels and other days you can't. But it's not what he needed to hear. I know that years from now, he'll be thankful that I was there to listen. And that I didn't say the right things all the time, but atleast I could say something. If I give him something to fall back on. Someone he knows he can call and someone he knows will always be there, then I feel like I have done my part. And as much as I want to alleviate his pain, it's not for me to do. I see it as something he'll have to do for himself, because no one can truly no you better than yourself... and I'm scared for what will happen to him. I don't know what will happen to him. And I pray that he can get right with in himself to be ok, oneday. I want him to be ok. It's hard to watch your friend go through this... This week is important for him. Instead of being able to go to all these places around the country and audition and play the best hes ever played, I know that he'll be thinking of his mom being sick the entire time. And every note he plays, he'll think of her. And even when he's telling himself not to think about it, he will be. This all seems so unfair. But I'm not mad with God. I'm mad at something else. I'm mad that he feels lost and that I can't bring him to a place where he'd feel anything else. P O S T

never ever. [Friday February 17 2006 @ 6:35am] going back to school today. hoping that my day is okay. Still feel a little under the weather, but I'm tired of being home. I miss certain people. And the on-going question remains... and I have yet to have an answer. One day I will. P O S T

[Thursday February 02 2006 @ 8:33pm] um. so many things going on. hurt. weirdness. love. grrr. it never ends. R E A D 02 P O S T

BDAY [Monday January 23 2006 @ 9:41pm] today is my birfday. woot. 17. grr R E A D 02 P O S T

grr [Wednesday January 18 2006 @ 4:48pm] today was a nice day. i needed today to feel like this. everything is wonderful and im thankful for all i have. my birthday is monday and im super excited about that. life is awesum. P O S T

lost it all. [Friday January 06 2006 @ 7:28pm] [ mood | optimistic ] [ music | bliggity blam ] fuking tired. been awake since 3.. cause i was on the news this morning. fun stuff. i love my triangle. <33 uhh i think i am staying home tonight... 2 shows tomorow. im in love with bliggity blam right now. damn son. they are good. drugs are bad. P O S T

surprise. [Tuesday January 03 2006 @ 3:23pm] [ mood | creative ] I left him a surprise las night. I am pretty sure he enjoyed it. dunno what else is really going on. friends are so nice to have <3 P O S T

[Saturday December 31 2005 @ 8:54pm] Georgia was way fun. I love my friends. P O S T

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